What's The Big Deal About Harry Potter?

When I went to the bookstore I saw a strange sight
A scene that I couldn't have missed
The crowd all looked ready to start up a fight
And man, did their faces look pissed!

They were jostling each other to purchase a book
To be released in that hour
Was it King, say, or Updike, or Crichton? I looked
No, it was just Harry Potter!

Chorus:
What's this hoo ha about Harry Potter?
Explain it to this poor schlemiel
Why is everyone ga-ga about this punk kid?
He's really not that big a deal!


All this tsuris about Harry Potter
I really don't understand
Has he made up a pact with the powers of hell
To get all the kiddies here under his spell
And somehow infected the grown-ups as well
What's the big deal about Harry Potter?

I tried out a few chapters just for a lark
It was all right but not really great
I've read better from Pratchett, or Lewis, or Jacques
And Lloyd Alexander's first rate!

I'm just a poor ignorant muggle I fear
Who wouldn't know Quidditch from chess
But the fact that he looks like Tim Hunter is clear
Neil Gaiman should sue Rowling's ass!

(Chorus)


They're meshuga about Harry Potter
What is it? The size of his wand?
It's great Children's Reading is finally back
But this frenzy that's like a Death Eater attack
Makes me think that these pages are loaded with crack
What's the big deal about Harry Potter?

Even now I remain just as baffled my sons
As this kid keeps on growing in fame
Along with companions like Hermione and Ron
At least they're pronounceable names!

So don't try to assimilate me in this lot
I'll march to my own different drummer
Even though I think Rowling is really quite hot
Do you think I could have her phone number?

(Chorus)


This mishegoss about Harry Potter
Is driving me over the edge
If the writing was bad he'd be easier to hate
But it's quite ordinary I'm sorry to state
I really don't want to get in a debate
What's the big deal about Harry Potter?

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