Mamas, Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up To Be Lawyers

Lawyers ain't easy to love and they're harder to see
They read all the stuff that's too boring for you and for me
Ex turpi causa and res ipsa loquitor - pleadings and F and BPs
If you didn't understand that it's perfectly fine
As long as you pay up your fees

Mamas don't let your babies grow up to be lawyers
I'm telling you now it's not worth all the fuss
They'd get more respect just from driving the bus
Mamas don't let your babies grow up to be lawyers
They'll stay late at work and they're always alone
Billing the whole night away

It's true that a lawyer will try any tactic that's legal
As long as he wins it who cares if it's sneaky and evil
Twisting procedure and trial by media - tricks underhanded and rude
They're nothing but whores but with those you at least
Get kisses when you're being screwed

Mamas don't let your babies grow up to be lawyers
It's better to enter a lifetime of crime
At least they won't have to wear suits all the time
Mamas don't let your babies grow up to be lawyers
They'll never stop talking till they're in the ground
And even then they never will

The life of a lawyer just isn't as fine as they say
It looks good from outside but not when they do it all day
When writs start a-flyin' and clients start a-lyin' -
And the judge starts a-yellin' in court
So when they approach you for first years' tuition
Just remember this one little thought

Mamas don't let your babies grow up to be lawyers
They'll never have spare time to spend all that cash
And everyone rates them just lower than trash
Mamas don't let your babies grow up to be lawyers
They're boring as hell and they'll come to no good
And some day they'll even sue you

home


news     journal     writing     me     filk     truth