Mamas, Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up To Be Lawyers

Lyrics 2000 Terence Chua
(to the tune of "Mamas, Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up To Be Cowboys" by Willie Nelson)
Live at Worldcon MP3 (approx 4.8 MB)

Lawyers ain't easy to love and they're harder to see
They read all the stuff that's too boring for you and for me
Ex turpi causa and res ipsa loquitor - pleadings and F and BPs
If you didn't understand that it's perfectly fine
As long as you pay up your fees

It's true that a lawyer will try any tactic that's legal
As long as he wins it who cares if it's sneaky and evil
Twisting procedure and trial by media - tricks underhanded and rude
They're nothing but whores but with those you at least
Get kisses when you're being screwed

The life of a lawyer just isn't as fine as they say
It looks good from outside but not when they do it all day
When writs start a-flyin' and clients start a-lyin' -
And the judge starts a-yellin' in court
So when they approach you for first years' tuition
Just remember this one little thought

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